||[Sep. 10th, 2004|12:50 am]
|||||Killswitch Engage- The End of Heartache||]|
I'm done with this game. I've played it for far too long and I'm through. If she doesn't want me, that's her loss, not mine. She wants to go back to how things were before? Be just friends again? Can she not see that things will NEVER be the same? If we had parted ways differently, I might feel differently. Yet, this gist doesn't leave me much room to feel good about things.
"I don't feel like that about you anymore, yes, all of the sudden. Oh, by the way, it's your best friend of 9 years that I want to be with now. Is that ok???"
OF COURSE I said it was ok when I first heard it! It's called shock! What was I supposed to do with all these emotions being pressed on me? Buckle and show exactly how miserable all of this was making me? Scream at my friend because he's entertaining this idea? Scream at both of them for stabbing me through the heart and then making sure to lay my body down gently?! I didn't know what to feel!! This has got to be the lamest position I've ever been put into.
Selfish, confused little girl seeking comfort falls for extremely lonely and somewhat sensitive close friend of nine years. Can we say....emotional transferrance? Can we say.... moving on so quickly that it completely snubs anything I might be feeling? God damn it. I feel so bitter over something I so hastily approved of.